Good Cop, Bad Cop
by josiesriverdale
Summary: Josie and Melody confront Archie after he and Valerie break up.


Archie was sitting in his favourite booth at the Chock'lit Shoppe, waiting to meet up with Jug, Betty and Veronica. A slow pop ballad chimed out of the diner's speakers and idle chatter and the clinking of cutlery against ceramic plates added to the cherished atmosphere of Riverdale's social hotspot. Suddenly the illusion was shattered. He was joined by two out of three Pussycats; Melody slid inside the cocoon of leather seating to sit beside him and immediately helped herself to the piping hot fries that he had just ordered, whilst Josie stole the seat across from him, resting her elbows on the table and placing her chin atop her clasped fingers.

"'Ey Arshie!" Melody greeted him, a mouth full of food muffling the diction of her words.

"Um, hey, Melody." He grinned, his ginger brows knitting together in confusion. Swallowing nervously, he glanced across the table at Josie, whose intimidating gaze pierced into his skin as though it aimed to crack his skull and completely destruct his brain. The lead Pussycat tilted her head to the side, holding his silent stare with an air of expectancy. _Oh_. His state of uncertainty suddenly became crystal clear. They were here to talk about Val, he realised. The red-haired heartthrob looked back at Mel who was gleefully chopping away at his crispy golden potato sticks, acting as her bandmate's antithesis. Archie chose his words carefully amid the rising tension that had come to settle. "How are you?" He asked innocently.

"I'm very well, thank you." The drummer chirped back politely, her curly hair bouncing and jigging as she nodded enthusiastically with a jubilant smile painted across her face. Pause. Then her facial expression transitioned into one of seriousness. "No." She looked to Josie, who shook her head with a frown, sending her a message with her eyes. Melody followed her wordless instruction, holding up a clenched fist and shaking it angrily at Archie. "No, I'm very _very_ angry."

He played dumb. "W-why?"

"Oh, cut the bullcrap Ginger Gigolo," the lead Pussycat spoke coolly, raising an eyebrow at his antics.

For a second his mouth went scratchy and dry. He seemed to lose his flow whenever Josie was near. The ambitious girl had a low tolerance for nonsense and he knew there was no way of dodging the trouble that he was in. "Look, I—I about V—"

She cut him off swiftly, holding up a finger toward him condescendingly. "No, baby, no. You don't get to talk right now, just shut up and listen."

Melody graced him with wide eyes filled with hurt and disappointment, "I can't believe you cheated on Val with Cheryl Blossom." The drummer munched down a bunch of fries to sooth her emotional pain. Waving a yellow pointer at him, she continued. "I was, like, totally Team Archieval. I was rooting for you, we were all rooting for you."

"I definitely wasn't." Josie interjected passionately, rolling her eyes. "I can't believe she even dated your mediocre Ed Sheeran knockoff ass. She even left us, _The Pussycats_ , so she could help you with your sorry excuse of a music career."

"She cried. A lot. She was completely devastated." Mel recalled sadly.

"You broke her heart, you're an _asshole_." Josie stressed.

Melody bumped her shoulder against Archie's, softly reasoning, "Val may seem like she's strong, independent and doing-better-without-you, but she really misses you and you can still totally earn her forgiveness."

"Melody, _focus,"_ Josie sharply hissed out of the corner of her mouth, before directing her attention at the ruffled redhead once more. Pink patches were permanently burned into his cheeks. "There is no way in hell I'm gonna let you mess with our best friend again. Get a new hobby and _stay the hell away from her_."

"She loves chocolate, red roses and being serenaded with romantic ballads. Give her any one of those—better yet, all three—and she won't be able to resist." The drummer confessed.

Josie huffed, agitated at Mel's blatant disregard of their plan. This was meant to be an act of revenge on Valerie's behalf, not a soppy and romantically-charged relationship repair session. Scooting out of the booth and smoothing out the front of her mini skirt she said to Melody, "Mel, let's go, we're done here."

The ditzy drummer bounced out of the booth, amicably waving farewell to a gaping Archie and proceeding toward the diner's exit, leaving him alone with Josie. The lead Pussycat looked down at him frostily in disdain. She took a single step forward and leaned down a fraction so that she could look him dead in his sappy, puppy-dog eyes. "Don't go anywhere near Val. I swear, if you do as much as look at her, I will **_end_** you," she promised in an icy tone.

Drawing herself back up to her full height, she smirked and reached down to steal the final golden fry off of Archie's plate. Then she strutted away, the clicking of her heels gradually fading as she left the Shoppe and a stunned Archie.

Mouth open, the boy sighed heavily and allowed himself to relax leaning against the leather back of the booth.

 _Wow,_ was all he could think whilst he ran a shaky hand through his hair, _I've really messed up, haven't I?_

 _..._

 **I wrote this because I'm tired of Asha Bromfield/Melody Valentine never having any lines. I'm hoping we'll get a proper confrontation about Archie's treatment of Val on the show but I'm not gonna get my hopes up.**

 **I hope you enjoyed it. Any reviews are appreciated.**


End file.
